(Monday, April 17, 2006 / 9:06 PM)
today is just another dreadful start of a horrible week.
and it has been repeating for like about 4 times a months, and there are 12 months in a year and i have lived for 14 years not counting this year.
feel so sore and sick.
today is my 5 items test. and i think i did it quite alright, except for my shuttle run.
i was like oh my god. i ran 12 sec! that is so slow lor. i ran about 11 sec something last year. What had happened to me??? guess i'm too scare of ljs and got a wobbly legs when running. i thought i was going to fall halfway thru...
.........
that good friday, i went out one of my pri friend. and i saw one of my tchers with her well... boyfriend. i was so shocked to see her.
went down my house and was walking towards the mrt station and i saw her. and i was like following behind her all the time. i was careful not to let her see me, if not ... well, i think she would be able to recognise me. i'm sitting at the second row and there's no one sitting in front of me you see...
anyway, dread it.
emath. amath. emath. amath. emath. amath.
i got so many math exercises not finished yet. and it's pilling higher and higher and higher.
i swore i would get crushed under it sooner or later. darn it.
my depression is gone again. and I don't know when it will come back. it come and go as it wishes i guess ...
i always wonder why we had to study so much and so hard. in the end what we get? knowledge? high salary? smarter? people looked up to you?
i don't want!
i just want to be myself. i don't want to change because of others, because of the world. is it that difficult?
i wanted to do this, they say no use. they want me to do that, i don't want.
There's a chinese saying - " Parents give you your body, you have no rights to destroy it. By doing so, you are unfilial."
Right.my life isn't within my control ...
