(Sunday, April 23, 2006 / 7:44 PM)
I just knew it. It's all an infatuation, and it's all over. Nothing last that much.
I can feel my depression coming back to me bit by bit
again ... It makes no difference. None at all.
I just couldn't figure it out something. Maybe I'm just plain stupid, or that there isn't really a answer for it - Why do I exist? Why do humans exist? Why do living things exist?
Do you know the answer? If you know ... Congratulation then. But I just can't.
In this realistic world, I knew I wouldn't be able to do what I wanted to. Because we are restricted and limited. There isn't really a world for us to do whatever we want.
What's the use anyway. We will all somehow die sooner or later. You could have just kill yourself right now, and it make no difference to the world.
Yeah, maybe your family, relatives and friends will be crying their hearts out. But that is just temporary. Soon over the years, you will be forgotten, just like when you never existed before.
No one needed you, or is there?
Just because others tell you to do so, you had to do so. Then what's the use of existing in this world. Might as well be a robot and be controlled by others.
At least a robot does not feels hurt.
There are just something which cannot be cure. And it's really painfully.
Let's just get on with my
life -
What.
Tue is my ss exam, and I haven't even revise on it. There is just too much homework. Can't the teachers just let us off? Are they trying to drive us to a corner? Will they be happy, if we decided to end our life in a instant?
Yesterday. Went for the band syf competition. And ... I didn't know that a Military Band would have so many
stupid acts to win the contest.
What were all that for? Being a clown to the audiences.
It's just all too sad ...
Anyway, I'm glad our school Band won a Gold.
Gold With Honour. What the crap is that?
How about a Gold with Top Honour.
Darn it.
But our school band didn't get into the top three display band of the year.
Tanjong Katong Sec, Deyi Sec and Bowen Sec.
I was wondering... do you call that Display Band? I call that Circus Band. It suit better.
.
Adults say we should be more concern with the politic affairs and talks about it.
However when we do, they say we are doing a personal attack on them.
Just what the hell do you want us to do?
It's just a sad thing. Pathetic fools.
Wondering how Heaven and Hell is like ... maybe I could just go and experience it myself ...
.
I'm just really tired. Really exhausted. Could you all just let me off ...
I
hate all of you.
No one is being real to me ... all of you are just faking it. And I'm sick of it. All of you are just lying to me. No one is being truthful ... no one ...
Do you think the other world is more welcoming then this world? I wish I could go sooner ...
Les imaginations sont des imaginations justes. Il ne se produira jamais en ce monde réaliste.
